Hallelujah
by lunarmira
Summary: Side Story to Children of Sorrowful Fate. The day that Hitori was born, Naruto died and Hinata is left waiting for his return as her mind deteriorates. Song Fic, NaruHina, angst


**_Hallelujah_**

_**AN**: __Naruto is not owned by me, nor is the song "Hallelujah." This is a work of love, not for profit._

_This is a side story for my second generation work, _Children of Sorrowful Fate_, Be forewarned, this is not a pretty love story. It deals with character death and depression. _

_

* * *

  
_

_I've heard there was a secret chord_

_That David played, and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music, do you?_

_Well, it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth_

_The minor fall, the major lift_

_The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_

* * *

  
_

She vaguely was aware of the baby crying, but could not concentrate on it, couldn't concentrate on anything in fact. Just this morning they were so happy... and now it was all over.

She looked to the doorway, _He's wrong... Naruto will be coming through that door any moment now._ She leaned against the wall, staring at the sunlight dancing outside as the day began.

"Hinata?" Neji said gently, "We should be going..."

"No." she said simply, "I'll stay and wait for him."

Her cousin bowed his head, and turned to the bassinet, "Hitori is crying," he said calmly.

She didn't acknowledge him, _couldn't_ acknowledge him, "He'll be back soon," she said quietly, "You'll see. He'll be back," she added the next in a whisper, "Believe it."

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Neji picked up the baby, whispering to the little girl, then staring back up at Hinata, "Why is she sealed?" he asked suddenly.

There was no answer. Hinata had closed herself off from him as she stared out the door.

* * *

_Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the roof_

_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you_

_She tied you to a kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne, she cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

_

* * *

  
_

"Hinata!" Naruto said happily, "You waited for me?"

"Of course," she smiled gently, "I would always wait for you," he reached for her and they gently kissed.

White eyes opened to find herself lying on the floor in the cold lonely room. Rising up she stood and leaned against the doorframe, a small ghost of a smile at the memory of her husband and the times that they had together after the war was over.

She had held him when he cried over Sasuke and Sakura... silently waited by him while he tried to find answers to why they had destroyed themselves like they did.

And when the answers didn't come, she held him again as he sobbed and shook against the memories that had still haunted him, even years later. When he woke at night from the nightmares, she rested her hand on his shoulder.

And he would embrace her.

"Hinata?" Neji's voice brought her back to the present, "Hitori needs you."

She still didn't answer him, though she heard him. _Hitori has you... Naruto needs me to stay here and wait for him._ Who else would fling arms open wide at the brilliant blue eyes, who else would listen patiently to his stories and jokes.

Who else would love her?

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

"Please eat something," Neji asked gently and Hinata vaguely saw the plate he put on the table before he left the room to attend to the infant girl.

She looked to the grounds outside, watching for signs of the blonde hair and blue eyes she needed so much.

* * *

_Well, baby, I've been here before._

_I've seen this room, and I've walked this floor._

_I used to live alone before I knew you  
_

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch,_

_And love is not a victory march,_

_It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah_

_

* * *

  
_

Hinata howled and threw anything breakable in her reach. The house was getting colder and more empty by the day. She was certain that only her and Neji lived there now.

And her daughter... she had almost forgotten about the baby born the day that...

Eyes went back to the empty courtyard. Another fraction of her heart vanished into inky blackness, "Where are you?" she whispered, "Why did you leave me alone again?"

Collapsing onto the ground she cried loud tears, "Naruto! Can't you see that we need you here!"

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

She slowly lifted her head, "Can't you see that I need you?" she whispered, "Where are you?"

Frantically she stood and stared out the doorway again, "Naruto..."

* * *

_Well, there was a time when you'd let me know_

_What's really going on below,_

_But now you never show that to me, do you?_

_But remember when I moved in you,_

_And the Holy Ghost was moving too,_

_And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

_

* * *

  
_

She remembered his arms, so gentle, so loving. How they had held her the night they had gotten married, how his lips had brushed gently against hers, how they had made love...

She remembered the morning after when he had made her breakfast, ramen of course, and brought it to her, apologizing all the while about him taking so long to accept her.

He had been hurt so badly by Sasuke's betrayal, by Sakura's half-truths... she had doubted that he would ever be able to accept her love.

When he finally did it was the happiest day of her life... the day she had started to exist she had told herself.

The day Hitori was born was supposed to be so happy as well... the day they had a family.

Naruto had been so happy to see the baby. He had cried when he held her.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Hitori couldn't exist without him. Hinata couldn't care for her without him...

Her eyes widened, _When did I give up...when did I lose his nindo..._

Without realizing it she had thrown it away.

* * *

_Well, maybe there is a God above,_

_But all that I've ever learned from love_

_Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you_

_It's not a cry that you hear at night_

_And it is not somebody who has seen the light_

_It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah_

_

* * *

  
_

She took the kunai gently into her hands as she watched the window, "I'm sorry," she whispered.

She stared at the knife for a long time before she sighed, "Neji will care for our daughter Naruto... I'm not worthy anymore..."

The sun began to set, and she heard the footsteps of her cousin, coming to call her for dinner, another attempt to get her to eat.

"I've tied him down as well... I'm such a pathetic person." the kunai went to her wrists, making a small cut, then a larger one. Blood spilled from her wrists to form rivers on the floor. "Forgive me... Naruto..."

She could almost hear his voice, pained and remorseful, _"You have to forgive me first Hinata."_

Warm lips kissed hers, and she smiled, "I'll always forgive you..."

The last of her life spent, she sat there as Neji opened the door into the empty room. Outside there was a roar and the first of the fires started.

* * *

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah_


End file.
